My Girlfriend Is My Sister

PREVIEW  0:00 
It's hard to say but after dating for two years, it's... it's... okay, it's already done. We did it. We had a sexual relationship.

INTRO  0:09 
"I survived a plane crash. I accidentally killed my mother. I can't stop cheating on my husband. I am sexually attracted to clowns. I like dressing up as a baby. My wife doesn't know I'm gay. I'm attracted to violent criminals. I can't stop eating toilet paper. I was an alcoholic by the age of 10. If anyone ever found out, I'd probably go to jail.  I just couldn't stop myself. I can't help it. It only happens when I sleep. I used to drink with my father. I looked down and my leg was scorching and on fire. I slept with her brother. I have no regrets..."

[Priest]  0:39 
Welcome to Strange Lives. I'm your host, Priest Porferio. Here with my co-host, Deniece Michele.

[Deniece]  0:46 
Hi Priest. How are you doing today?

[Priest]  0:47 
Good. How are you doing?

[Deniece]  0:49 
I'm not too bad.

[Priest]  0:51 
Great, Deniece. What do we... [stammers] Deniece, what the fuck are we doing this morning?

[Deniece]  0:59 
Why are we awake? Who are you?

[Priest]  1:04 
Deniece, who are we talking to today?

[Deniece]  1:07 
I'm actually really excited about the conversation that we have on the schedule today. A gentleman wrote in letting us know that he has had a relationship with his neighbor's daughter and then found out that she is his biological sister.

[Priest]  1:25 
What?!

[Deniece]  1:26 
Yeah. And he also mentions that he thinks that their family is haunted.

[Priest]  1:33 
Haunted?

[Deniece]  1:34 
Yeah

[Priest]  1:34 
Do you think it means like haunted or cursed?

[Deniece]  1:37 
Guess we'll have to find out.

[Priest]  1:39 
Let's find out. We do already have them on the line. Hi, welcome to the show, today. Can you tell us a little bit about your story?

[Guest]  1:45 
My story is about my dad and I who have lived with a neighborhood for a long time. This girl I was dating in the neighborhood for a bit, while after some disclosure, I found out that the girl that I was dating actually is my sister, and our neighbor, was actually dating my father, and they've had this relationship for a long time time after my mother died.

[Priest]  2:10 
How did you actually meet this girl? Was she your next door neighbor? Or how did you actually meet her and start dating?

[Guest]  2:17 
The girl has been my neighbor for a long time. So we used to play together and did everything together. But at that time, we were just friends, we considered being this close was not ideal for us. But after some time growing up, we entertained the idea of dating. And that's where we started.

[Priest]  2:37 
They grew up just like brother and sister playing together.

[Guest]  2:41 
Because you can't say that, but I will go with Deniece’s idea of it's a natural response.

[Deniece]  2:48 
Exactly.

[Priest]  2:50 
And how long were you together?

[Guest]  2:54 
It's been two years. It's been two years.

[Deniece]  2:58 
You were dating for three years? Or it has been three years since you dated?

[Guest]  3:04 
It's been two years since we started dating.

[Priest]  3:10 
Are you still together?

[Guest]  3:11 
No. After realizing this thing? I am just… I just went away.

[Deniece]  3:15 
Did you... And I don't mean to get too personal. But did you sleep with her?

[Guest]  3:20 
Ahhh, well but you are getting personal.

[Priest]  3:25 
I think that's what everybody wants to know is, you know, when you find out that this was your sister that you've been together with for two years or three years. I think that's the first thing that everybody wonders is whether you two had a sexual relationship.

[Guest]  3:37 
It's hard to say but after dating for two years, it's… it’s… okay. It's already done. We did it. We had a sexual relationship.

[Priest]  3:47 
Yeah, you did not know it at the time.

[Guest]  3:50 
But it's quite frustrating to me.

[Priest]  3:53 
Yes, absolutely. Yes, certainly nobody could judge you on that. Because you did not know at the time; neither of you knew.

[Guest]  4:01 
You know, after realizing, my self confidence  goes down. You'll never be the same again after realizing that you slept in your sister.

[Priest]  4:11 
Right.

[Deniece]  4:11 
I can understand that.

[Priest]  4:13 
Yeah, absolutely.

[Deniece]  4:15 
I was curious from spending a lot of time with her. Did you develop feelings for her? Did you care for her in a romantic way? I understand, it's one thing to sleep with someone, have physical relationship with someone. But it's another thing to have an emotional connection relationship. Do you feel like you have that emotional connection?

[Guest]  4:39 
After dating for two years, as a human being, a normal human being you will obviously have an emotional connection to that person. It's not that easy to date for two years. It's a long time for a person to develop an emotional connection.

[Priest]  4:57 
How did you find out that she was your sister?

[Guest]  5:01 
One time, I was with my father's phone; he had left it on the charger. I was just curious, and me and my father, we were very close, in fact. So I saw a text message popping up and I became quite curious. The number was from my neighbor. After looking at the message, I saw the conversation was quite long. And they have been talking for quite a while. There was some frustrating pictures that I saw, even I don't want to remember. I just found out from his phone.

[Priest]  5:42 
Was your neighbor saying something about your daughter, our daughter, anything like that?

[Guest]  5:47 
Yeah, the thing that captured me most they were talking about the same girl that was involved. They were saying what they will do, what should they do if they... How they're planning on how to do how to deal with it. That's how I discovered that indeed, the girl was my sister. And they all knew and my father never even thought of telling me.

[Priest]  6:17 
So they knew and they were trying to figure out what to do about you and her dating?

[Guest]  6:22 
Actually, they... I don't think they know that we were dating because our dating was very secretive, very secretive.

[Priest]  6:31 
Okay.

[Guest]  6:32 
Yeah, they never knew. My father is always at work. And the neighbor's husband is always traveling a lot. So it's hard to grab things that happen in your house.

[Priest]  6:45 
So you found out first then did you then go and tell her?

[Guest]  6:50 
Since I found out, I have not met with the... have never talked to her and just went quiet.

[Deniece]  6:55 
Wow, okay.

[Guest]  6:56 
I'm still thinking on how to deal with the situation. I have not talked to anybody. Or...

[Priest]  7:02 
How long ago did you find out?

[Guest]  7:04 
It was like five months ago.

[Deniece]  7:06 
Five months?! Has she tried... has she reached out to you?

[Guest]  7:09 
Yeah, I'm that person who gets at my emotions a lot. So it takes time for me to heal. I want to deal with the situation when I'm fully healed, and having the courage to talk with them.

[Priest]  7:23 
Do you miss her?

[Guest]  7:24 
After realizing, the emotions just went away. I feel just washed away. I feel lost. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to do. But I'm still thinking, I hope to find the courage and the strength to go back and fix things.

[Priest]  7:42 
This is someone that you loved, right? You'd fallen in love with her.

[Guest]  7:46 
Yeah.

[Priest]  7:47 
So when you found out, you just cut off all communication with her and you stopped talking to her?

[Guest]  7:53 
Correct.

[Deniece]  7:55 
It's gotta be tough.

[Guest]  7:56 
How could I talk to her? Yet... Yet... I know what has happened? It's quite hard, quite hard to talk to that person that you loved then the love... the person that you loved is not the person who will stay with you for the rest of your life. She's actually your sister.

[Priest]  8:12 
Do you still love her? Do you still have feelings for her? Even though you know this information about her?

[Guest]  8:17 
For now, just confused but two years is quite a long time trying to figure out how the other life will be when she knows that she's my sister. The feelings don't just go away. But I'm trying to suppress them.

[Priest]  8:32 
Exactly. Yeah, feelings don't just go away because you found out something about someone. You still have those feelings. You're still dealing with that.

[Guest]  8:41 
Yeah, I'm still dealing with it.

[Deniece]  8:43 
So I'm curious, in your email you had also... you had also mentioned that you think that your family is haunted?

[Guest]  8:51 
Ahh, you see, my... my mum passed away a long time ago, while I was young and me dating, me dating my neighbor's daughter - my father dating my neighbor seems haunted. Having a sexual attraction to... I don't know, I don't mean to be abusive towards my family. They're still  family.

[Priest]  9:16 
But you're saying you think your family is cursed? Right?

[Guest]  9:19 
Yeah, that's what I think after finding out. Also this neighbor's husband, I don't know what will happen if he finds out. I'm the only one who knows. My father doesn't know that I know the story. So I'm just quiet.

[Priest]  9:33 
Oh, yeah. That's an element we had not even considered is that the neighbor - she's also married. She has a husband.

[Guest]  9:41 
It's quite a difficult story to deal with. Something bad might happen if the husband knows.

[Priest]  9:48 
Are you 100% sure that she is your biological sister or is there a possibility that maybe you misunderstood something or you misread something or misinterpreted it?

[Guest]  10:01 
I don't think so. From what I saw on the phone and the arguments, I think they've been going on for a long time. And I'm not... I'm very sure. I'm very sure it happened. And the girl is my sister.

[Deniece]  10:15 
So let me ask you this... Let's say maybe for some reason, maybe your father is not the father. If it turns out that she is not your biological sister, would you want to be with her, to marry her, to live with her, be in a relationship with her?

[Guest]  10:35 
I considered that possibility. That's why I went quiet for a while. I never wanted to make rash decisions. I considered that possibility. And I considered that what if I went and said and approached everyone and started saying that this and this after what I saw, but I decided to just go quiet first, find the courage, find the right mind so that I can encounter this situation. If what I saw is not true, it's a possibility. Though, I'm not sure I can... we can go back to how you are with the girl.

[Deniece]  11:13 
Would you be interested in dating someone new?

[Guest]  11:16 
Yeah. So the first occurrence of this relationship, I think it will be hard.

[Deniece]  11:21 
She wasn't your first relationship, right?

[Guest]  11:24 
No, no, no, no. She's actually my second relationship. I think after these actions, I think I'll have to consider. I recently developed trust issues. So if it happens that I'll have to do it again, I'll do it.

[Deniece]  11:41 
You don't have to date. It's not a requirement. But let's say I came to visit you wherever you are. And you and I wanted to date, would you be open to dating someone new? Or are you in a place where you feel like, "I need to heal from this. I need to sort things out. I don't know where my head is. I don't really feel like I should be in a relationship right now."

[Guest]  12:05 
For me, I think this occurrence should not drag me down. And I think I'm open to dating.

[Deniece]  12:11 
Okay, good.

[Priest]  12:13 
I think first, he would have to find out whether his father knows your mother.

[Deniece]  12:17 
I can guarantee you he's not my brother.

[Guest]  12:21 
Are you sure?

[Priest]  12:25 
Look, maybe we have a love connection here?

[Deniece]  12:28 
I'm already excited about our date!

[Guest]  12:32 
We should arrange one.

[Priest]  12:35 
Is there a possibility that your father and the neighbor have just been having an affair and seeing each other all this time, all these years, but he's not the father of the daughter - because she is married. Maybe they've just been having an affair. But maybe the daughter isn't actually the biological daughter of your father.

[Guest]  12:58 
That is one possibility to cope with the situation. But the neighbor is having only just one child. I'm just curious. I don't know what to think. Because if, why should they have one child and they have been in a marriage for a long time? So it's a factor that, that makes me think a lot. She's the only child in there.

[Priest]  13:22 
Does she look like you? Does she look like your father? Is there any type of family resemblance now that you know this and you look at her?

[Guest]  13:29 
I'm not good at that. I can't say. I'm no good at that. She resembles her mother.

[Deniece]  13:37 
Are you in a situation where you have to see her like on a regular basis? You mentioned that you're in the same town. Is the town large enough that you're able to live day to day without running into her?

[Guest]  13:51 
I was in that situation, but I decided to visit my friend and avoid the situation for quite a bit. I used to see her on a daily basis before it happened. But after it happened, I moved a little bit to my friend's house. I always visit my friends regularly to avoid her.

[Deniece]  14:12 
You actively and methodically changed your life and your day to day routine to avoid her?

[Guest]  14:17 
Yeah.

[Priest]  14:17 
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? And how old is she?

[Guest]  14:26 
I'm 25. She's 21.

[Deniece]  14:31 
From a future perspective, I'm wondering, is this going to stop you from living your life?

[Guest]  14:39 
I'm a positive person. I just want to move on with my life. Even if something bad happened. I don't want to get stuck on it. I want to move on and proceed with life. These things have been... I don't want it to drag me down at all. Yeah.

[Deniece]  15:01 
Yeah, it's... it sounds like you have the right attitude. But you also struggle with the fact that you have had feelings for someone who could potentially be your blood relative.

[Guest]  15:13 
Yeah.

[Deniece]  15:14 
Also, there are instances of this that are more common. At least, I know, in the United States, there are instances of distant cousins that marry and don't know what they're related. You're still so young, and I want you to be able to get past it and being in a happy, healthy relationship.

[Guest]  15:32 
Yeah, that's what I want for myself to move on and become someone who never dated my sister.

[Deniece]  15:38 
Your secret is safe with us.

[Priest]  15:41 
Technically, we all want to be someone who have never dated our sister.

[Guest]  15:48 
Yeah.

[Deniece]  15:52 
I don't know any of your circumstances. But just based on what I've heard, these are problems I think that every family would face that lives in a community with other people. As long as there's other people involved, people are traveling, people spend time with each other, feelings develop, things happen, it's natural. It's just a natural response to your environment.

[Guest]  16:13 
Yeah, even though it's a natural response, let it be not towards your relative.

[Deniece]  16:20 
No, I get it!

[Priest]  16:22 
He's like, I understand it's a natural response. Can we not have it be a response to my life.

[Guest]  16:27 
Yeah,

[Deniece]  16:28 
At least not to my sister.

[Priest]  16:30 
Could she be someone else's sister and not my sister, please?

[Guest]  16:33 
Should you never get yourself in that position. It's quite awkward. Very awkward!

[Deniece]  16:39 
At least there was no - you didn't have kids. You didn't get married. You found this out now before it was way too late.

[Priest]  16:47 
Right? You don't have children with her right?

[Guest]  16:49 
Ah, no, no, no, no, no.

[Priest]  16:51 
Okay.

[Guest]  16:51 
No, we had planned a few. That's the part where I'm happy that it never happened. It could have brought more disaster than what it is right now.

[Priest]  17:01 
How do you plan on dealing with this with her? Do you ever plan on approaching her, telling her what you know, and why you stopped talking to her? Or do you plan on just forever stop talking to her and never seeing her again?

[Guest]  17:18 
I know she can handle me not talking to her. But something of this great magnitude can greatly affect that.

[Priest]  17:27 
So you would rather her not know?

[Guest]  17:29 
I would rather not tell her right now - greatly affect her life. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

[Priest]  17:35 
I'm sure that she is confused. And she doesn't know why you broke things off, and why you stopped talking to her. But also from your point of view, it would be more hurtful for her to find out that she's been dating her brother for the last two years.

[Guest]  17:50 
Though I know some questions will arise if I tell her late, she'll just ask me, "Why did you not tell me about this earlier?" Blah, blah, blah, you know?

[Deniece]  18:02 
I'm sorry. I just, I... I hadn't... There is, the flip side of it is she also has to deal with the fact that - I've had sex with my brother.

[Priest]  18:18 
Right? This could make for some pretty awkward family reunions.

[Deniece]  18:22 
True. But also, it could be a relief or comfort to both of you to be able to talk maturely, adult to adult, about it and realize, "Hey, we found this information out. And how are we going to deal with it?" It might be easier to deal with it together. I don't know. She probably has things that she needs to work out also.

[Guest]  18:48 
Yeah, though I'm quite worried how our relationship... my relationship with my father will be after everything. I was very close to my father. And I think it will never be the same.

[Priest]  19:03 
Do you think that you would ever ask your father about this? Do you imagine like approaching your father, letting him know that you know this information and seeing what he says and what his side of the story is? Because again, maybe she's not your biological sister. Maybe your father admits that he's been having this affair with your neighbor, but she was already pregnant or she had already had her daughter before they even started dating. Have you considered asking your father about this?

[Guest]  19:33 
Let me tell you,  once I saw the whole thing on the phone, I was mad. I was furious. I just wanted to approach him. But though I decided to just go down and get a time of my own. I've considered that option. I think that's the first thing I'll do after I'm okay with it. My father is also strict. He'll ask me about how I found out. How I started checking on his phone. And maybe if it turns out not to be true, it will be like ... thing for me asking my father about these relationships. We don't talk about those things with my father.

[Deniece]  20:14 
You said your father works a lot. Are you essentially at home by yourself during the day?

[Guest]  20:19 
Mostly I go to school, we spend most of the time together in the evening.

[Deniece]  20:24 
Okay.

[Guest]  20:24 
Yeah, he always comes in the evening every day. I don't know, the relationship lately has been awkward. Though, I'm finding the courage to just sit in the same house with burning issues in my heart, and how to approach and ask him.

[Deniece]  20:43 
So when you say it's awkward meaning, because you feel like there's this issue that you know about that you want to clear the air about? Or is there another element?

[Guest]  20:56 
Yeah, this issue that is burning me inside that I just want to say, and I still don't have that courage to say. So I find myself just going away to my friend's house and chatting.

[Priest]  21:12 
Have you told anybody else about this? Does your friend know about this? Or is it something that you're keeping inside and not sharing with anyone?

[Guest]  21:19 
I’m quite a secretive person I can say. I haven't told anyone. I haven't told anyone at all. Not even my friend. Though, my friend discovered that there's something wrong with me. He asked me about it. But I told him to try and figure it out. I never really told him about it.

[Priest]  21:42 
Yeah, this is absolutely something that you probably don't want your friends to find out about and tease you about.

[Deniece]  21:48 
Or at least just one really best friend that you can really trust.

[Priest]  21:53 
Or the community. You don't want the community to find out about this.

[Guest]  21:56 
Yeah. So the friends teasing me or something bad like that. Especially the boys. It's not quite good.

[Deniece]  22:02 
Oh, I can just imagine.

[Guest]  22:04 
You can't find it pleasing, you know?

[Priest]  22:06 
Do you live in a small town? Or do you live in a large city?

[Guest]  22:10 
It's a small town.

[Priest]  22:12 
So something like this would get around quickly?

[Guest]  22:15 
Yeah, very quickly. A small rumor can spread in minutes in our town.

[Priest]  22:21 
Yeah.

[Guest]  22:21 
Yeah. You never know, with the modern technology and phones and everything.

[Priest]  22:26 
Being that you live in a small town? Are you afraid that one day you're going to be walking down the street and just run into your sister? Will it be hard to avoid her? You're going to see her in the store in the streets, maybe at school?

[Guest]  22:40 
I've considered, you know, that probability of seeing her in front of me, and no other way of escaping. But it does never happen. I don't know how I'll deal with it. Most of the time when I see her, I just walk the other way around. And she has never noticed.

[Priest]  22:56 
After you found out about this, was there ever a point where you thought to yourself that you are going to keep this a secret? Not tell her, not tell anyone, and continue this relationship with her because you loved her?

[Guest]  23:08 
The moment I realized, everything changed, so that was not a possibility. For me, everything changed in an instant. So I never considered continuing to date my sister. It wasn't ideal for me.

[Deniece]  23:22 
Like even if you wanted to ignore it, you couldn't.

[Priest]  23:24 
Yeah, once you find out that she was your sister that changes everything.

[Guest]  23:27 
Yeah.

[Deniece]  23:27 
It's kind of a buzzkill.

[Guest]  23:29 
I'm just worried about the neighbor's husband. He is quite a good person. A good person, kind. I don't know how he will take the information after finding out his wife has not been that faithful to him. He works a lot. He's hardworking and everything. I consider my story quite saddening. I think it will hurt a lot of people.

[Priest]  23:56 
Do you think he will ever find out? Or do you think this will always be a secret?

[Guest]  24:00 
Everything that happens in secrets will always come out? If I have known, he will probably one day also know, not from the wife herself. He will eventually know. Nothing will be kept for secret forever.

[Priest]   24:15 
You did say that this has created a lot of trust issues with you. Do you think that moving forward and finding somebody new and meeting somebody new, that will create trust issues with you and the next girl you date you are going to feel like, "Let me double check that she's not also my sister or a family member."

[Priest]  24:29 
Yeah. Or she may have to pay for this whole incident in some way.

[Priest]   24:40 
Yeah.

[Guest]  24:41 
Oh, one thing I'll do is just not to date near my city. Just far away! I think it will be safer.

[Deniece]  24:53 
Well, you did say your dad travels, right?

[Guest]  24:56 
Wow. I never thought of that!

[Priest]  25:00 
Wow, see... you are going to traumatize him. He has to date outside of his country now. I do know a girl.

[Guest]  25:09 
Yeah.

[Priest]  25:10 
Who might be available...

[Guest]  25:12 
Yeah.

[Priest]  25:13 
Her name is Deniece, I don't know if you've heard of her before.

[Guest]  25:16 
Mmm hmm. Tell me! I'm entertaining that thought.

[Deniece]  25:20 
I'm probably a little bit older for you.

[Guest]  25:23 
Oh.

[Priest]  25:25 
But wiser and mature and experienced. Keep that in mind too. And best of all...

[Guest]  25:31 
Yeah?

[Priest]  25:32 
She's not your sister!

[Guest]  25:33 
Great idea.

[Deniece]  25:35 
I don't want this to impact his future. In the long term, I want him to not even have this be a factor 20 years from now, when he has his own kids and his family and things like that. It's just a distant memory.

[Priest]  25:50 
I would bet that you could meet somebody else in your own town, who's not your sister. And you don't have to worry about that. I think that this is a very rare thing. Of course, it happens to people throughout the world, which is why we want to have a show like this, that we can highlight these things and just things that people go through. But I think it's just happens to be this weird thing that happened to you. And it's probably a once in a lifetime thing, you'll never have this happen again. So I think you're probably fine to meet somebody else in your town. I understand wanting to meet somebody outside of your town, outside of your city. But also don't put your life off. Don't delay that just until you're outside the city to meet somebody else.

[Deniece]  26:33 
Do you want to travel?

[Guest]  26:35 
Yeah, I would like to try it. Because it will get me all better, and feel better.

[Deniece]  26:41 
And it's nice to experience different cultures. I know, at least in the United States culture, a lot of kids play around. Priest, you've probably played doctor and things like that when you were a kid. Did you do anything like that?

[Priest]  26:54 
I'm still playing doctor.

[Deniece]  26:59 
Like you... neighbors were around. Like, I played doctor with the babysitter's kids. Just we were curious. We were kids. We were growing up. And we wanted to see what everybody else had.

[Priest]  27:11 
Children and teenagers are curious. And they tend to experiment with friends around you.

[Deniece]  27:16 
Yeah, I think it would be different if you're in your 30's or 40's and you were actively pursuing someone in your family. That's different. But to be young, not know. You're growing up, you're exploring.

[Guest]  27:30 
Being young, and something happens to you, it will have an impact towards your future. As you grow old.

[Deniece]  27:39 
Yeah. But you're aware, that's the key thing. You are aware that it will have an impact. Some people are not aware, and they don't understand where eventually that... that hurt or that mistrust, where that comes from.

[Guest]  27:51 
I think it's good for people to have... to have a good and positive attitude, even though something bad happened like that, to help you get yourself off the ground. Get off with friends, travel. But I think it should, you should take it slow. After that ends, you never know. Disaster can fall on a bad disaster.

[Deniece]  28:16 
I hope that you will give us an update or something else. Just stay in touch. And let us know if anything develops or once things are worked out.

[Priest]  28:27 
Yeah, please follow up. If anything changes months from now, six months from now, whenever. Please follow up with us. We would love to stay in touch and see how you're doing and how things progressed just in the rest of your life. And with this relationship.

[Guest]  28:40 
Yeah, I would like to know, I would like to talk. It makes me feel better.

[Priest]  28:44 
Great. Great. Well, we are here to talk anytime you need us.

[Guest]  28:49 
Probably, if things go well, after we approach each other. I know where to find you.

[Priest]  28:55 
Yeah, we would love to have a follow up on that and see how things went.

[Guest]  28:59 
Okay. I'm fine with that.

[Priest]  29:02 
Well, again, thank you so much for being on our show today and sharing this crazy story that you've been dealing with. It does take a lot of courage to come on here and share your secret and to tell us your story. So I really appreciate that.

[Guest]  29:16 
Yeah, thank you for also hosting me. I just want to say that these things do happen, as they say it's a natural response. But it's... it's not good to have a natural response to a relative though.

[Deniece]  29:30 
Yeah, but you didn't know. You didn't. That's the thing, babe, you didn't know. And then you found out and then you had what would be another natural response. And that's to say, "I gotta shut it down!" So that just means to me... that says you are a healthy, well adjusted, normal individual that has healthy responses to external stimuli. I know that it sounds very, a professional way to say it, but it's just a way to say that you're okay.

[Priest]  30:04 
These things do happen across the world. And again, you didn't know that when you... you know, at the time. This is something you're dealing with, and you only found out afterwards. So I think that your response to it is completely normal and natural.

[Guest]  30:17 
Thank you for that. Yeah.

[Deniece]  30:19 
But definitely keep in touch. Thank you for the time. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Priest]  30:25 
Yes, thank you so much for your time. And for being on our show today.

[Guest]  30:28 
You too. I thank you for hosting me. It was a great time talking. And I feel better.

[Deniece]  30:34 
Yeah. And have a good weekend.

[Guest]  30:36 
Same to you, bye.

Unknown Speaker  30:38 
MUSIC / FINAL THOUGHTS

[Priest]  30:47 
There is definitely something very innocent about him.

[Deniece]  30:49 
Yeah. And I feel like I want to hug him and say, "Look, this is not the worst thing that's gonna happen to you in life. It's going to be okay."

[Priest]  30:59 
But I get it, at this age, at this time, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to him in his life. This was a girl that he loved. And then to find out that, not only do you love your sister, but you've been having sex with your sister. It's a lot to deal with.

[Deniece]  31:15 
But it also does, I think, just a reflection of his age, to think that my family is cursed because my mother passed and I was dating my sister. And just knowing the circumstances now, these are two totally different things. Unfortunately, people die, right? This is common everyday life. And then the circumstances knowing that he didn't realize she was his sister, found out - immediately cut it off. So I can understand where it's like, "Where's the good stuff that's supposed to happen?" But all of that doesn't necessarily mean that your family is cursed. And I think he'll see that when he gets a little bit older.

[Priest]  31:56 
I hope for him that there is some surprise, where he finds out at some point that it's not his sister. That despite his father  and the neighbor having an affair, that his father is not the biological father.

[Deniece]  32:11 
Yeah, but even, and I'm thinking of this from her perspective - I'm gonna look at this as we were essentially dating for two years. We were planning to have children, and then you just ghosted me for five months. And you didn't talk to me. Right now, it's all about him.

[Priest]   32:29 
Yeah

[Deniece]  32:30 
He's just, "Oh, my God, I'm having sex with my sister. I gotta totally shut down and totally redo my routine in my everyday life" which is a natural response, yes. But it's an immature response. Because he could also have said, "Wait a minute, I need to talk to her about this. She needs to know that she's fucking her brother!" He's just looking at it like, "Oh, my god!" He can't just think that, "Okay, after I process it, I'm gonna go step back into this relationship. And it'd be just like it was" because it's not going to happen like that. At least it shouldn't.

[Priest]  33:03 
If his response were, "Whoa, I'm having sex with my sister. I'm not going to tell her and we're going to continue." That's a completely different conversation.

[Deniece]  33:14 
Even if it turns out, they find out okay, she's not your sister...

[Priest]  33:18 
It could be damaged beyond repair.

[Deniece]  33:20 
Exactly. Because you couldn't even come to me and say, "Hey, there's a potential that this is happening. We need to figure this out." Instead of just sticking my head in the sand and pretending like it doesn't exist. Because there's somebody else involved. You can't. Somebody else's feelings are involved. It would be different if somebody that you weren't actively dating for two years and claiming to have children with someday.

[Priest]  33:42 
Well, I think ultimately, he probably feels it's better to stick his head in the sand than to stick his head back in his sister.

[Deniece]  33:53 
Okay, with that, I think that this episode is a wrap.

OUTRO  34:01 
Thank you for listening to another episode of Strange Lives, a Reynolds Omnimedia production. If you like what you heard, please be sure to subscribe and rate us on Apple, Spotify and anywhere podcasts are found. To be a guest on our show, visit us online at: http://strangelives.com. Follow us on social media at: thestrangelives and join us at: http://patreon.com/strangelives for behind the scenes, exclusive content, and ongoing discussions about this episode and more. Be sure to tune in next week for another strange episode.